How life changes when you're a mom

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and I realized something:  I can't remember what it's like to be able to put groceries in that little shelf on the cart where Eleanor now always sits!  I know it sounds stupid, and you're probably thinking, "Who cares?", but it's just weird that I honestly can't remember it.  What did I used to put in there?  My purse?  Eggs?  I have no idea.

That got me thinking about all of the things that have changed since July 22, 2009 (and some since March 5, 2008).  Here are just a few I can think of:

• "Sleeping in" on a Saturday means sleeping until 7:30.  GONE are the days of sleeping until 9:00 or 10:00!
• I have learned to sleep through Hunter's alarm clock, but the second Eleanor makes a little sound I am wide awake.
• Hunter and I have gone out together after 6 PM three times in 2010.  Yes, three.  And although I certainly enjoyed myself each time, there was a little part of me that kept wondering if Eleanor was still asleep for the person watching her.
• Whenever I get invited to go somewhere or do something with somebody else, my first thought is whether or not that will work for Eleanor.  I can usually make it work, but her needs come before my own.
• I can't drive anywhere without checking in the rearview mirror to see how Eleanor's doing back there...even when she's not in the car with me!  There have been a few times that I've felt panic for a couple of seconds when I saw that she wasn't there!  :)
• When I go clothes shopping for myself, I wander over to the baby section of the store first.  Last fall somebody gave me a gift card to the Gap and I spent it at Baby Gap instead of buying stuff for myself.  Baby clothes are just so much more fun!  :)
• My life is now lived in blocks of time between naptimes.  I know I can leave the house at 9:30 AM but I have to be home by 12:00 at the latest.  And I can go out around 2:00, but I have to be back by 4:00.  This is all if I have Eleanor with me, of course.  Otherwise the blocks of time are longer, but then it still revolves around her nursing schedule.  (Yes I can pump, but it's a lot of work.  I'm perfectly happy to stay close to home and feed her myself.)
• When I hear another baby cry, I never think something along the lines of, "That mom needs to make her baby stop crying!" like I occasionally did before.  Instead, it's more like, "Oh that poor mom!  I hope she doesn't think her baby is bothering anyone."  And, I'll admit, there's a slight sense of relief that it's somebody else's baby and not my own.  Whew.  :)
• I get ridiculously excited by all of the little things - a sweet smile, a silly face, an attempt at saying a word, etc.  I love watching my baby grow up.
• I have learned to not judge other moms.  I'm sure people think I'm crazy for some of the things I do as a parent, but I have made what I believe are the best choices for my family.  I have faith that other mothers have put thought into their choices as well, and it's really none of my business.
• There are some things I do as a mom that I never thought I would.  For example, I didn't think I would be so strict about keeping a nap schedule, but then I realized that life is really just a whole lot easier (and my baby is a whole lot happier) when we do.  I have not, however, given in on the things that are important to me.  Eleanor wears cloth diapers except for when we travel or occasionally when the cloth is in the wash; it's really not a big deal.  She has never had an ounce of formula.  She has never watched tv.  People used to imply that I would change my mind on those things when she was born, but I don't give in that easily.  I do realize, however, that something could come up to change these things (as one of my friends has recently learned) and I am willing to accept it if it does.  Mothers definitely know a thing or two about humility.