Need a good laugh?

I discovered this blog yesterday and it is HILARIOUS!  (Warning:  if you are easily offended by profanity you probably won't enjoy it.)  Maybe it's just my weird sense of humor, but I cried multiple times from laughing so hard.  I particularly enjoyed this post and this post.

Funny conversation of the day

Hunter decided he wanted to try making bread so he was looking at a bread cookbook.  It's very detailed and has pictures with the instructions.

Hunter (laughing):  I think I just caught a glimmer of what life must be like for you as a woman.

Me:  What?

Hunter:  Well, there are pictures in here showing how to make the bread, and these are obviously a woman's hands.  I'm slightly offended, because I know that a man can do it too.  That must be what you face all the time!

9 months!

A little update

Eleanor got sick yesterday and, with no warning signs, had a temperature of 101.8!  We took her to the doctor who determined it must be a virus.  The doctor said it would last 2-3 days, but Eleanor woke up happy today with a normal temp again.  Yay!  She's slept more than usual today, but she seems happy.

Just in the past couple of weeks, loud sounds have started to scare her.  The vacuum used to not bother her, but now it makes her scream.  :(  Poor baby.  Also, last night we had a thunderstorm at 4:45 AM.  It didn't wake me up, but Eleanor woke up screaming.  She must not have inherited her mother's love of thunderstorms!

This baby can EAT.  For breakfast, she had a whole container of baby yogurt, a pancake (it's small), cantaloupe, and strawberries.  For lunch she had half a grilled cheese sandwich, 3 avocado slices, about 1/3 cup green beans, and a handful of blueberries.  There's practically nothing that she won't eat!

We have decided that "kitty" is officially her first word since she's said it several times now.  The poor cat is getting tired of being dragged into the room with Eleanor in the hopes of making Eleanor speak!

After losing a baby

Over the past couple of years, quite a few people have asked me for advice on what to do or say when somebody they know experiences a miscarriage or stillbirth.  I figured I may as well write it all down in one place.  If you have anything to add to this list, comment away!  If you feel like this is helpful and you want to pass it on to somebody, feel free.

Do:

• Realize that this loss is painful, whether the pregnancy was 6 weeks or 36 weeks along.  Obviously there is a difference between those two, but a loss is a loss at any time.  
• Keep in mind that you might not be aware of circumstances surrounding this loss, like if the mother had previous miscarriages or if it took a long time to conceive.
• Send a card, even if you live nearby.  You can just say, "I'm thinking about you" or "I'm so sorry for your loss" if you don't know what else to say.  I might be weird, but what I appreciated hearing more than anything was that a friend cried upon hearing my news.  It made me realize that the person cared and was sharing my grief with me.  Also, a card in the mail is much more meaningful than an email or a message on Facebook (not that those are bad).
• Send another card a few weeks later.  That's when life starts returning to normal and the mother may feel forgotten.
• Offer to do something specific and helpful.  If the person has kids, offer to watch the kids for a few hours so the mom or both parents can have some time alone.  Take them a meal.  Be specific in your approach (i.e. "Can I bring you dinner on Tuesday night?") and don't just say, "Let me know if there's anything I can do."  You might genuinely mean that, but the grieving parent might be afraid to take you up on it or be too overwhelmed to even realize what they need.
• If the baby had a name, use it.  It's not a bad word.  In fact, it's quite the opposite.
• Listen.  I think every mom who's experienced a loss is different in how much they want to talk about everything, but listen as much as they are willing to talk.  I personally really felt the need to retell my experience; I needed people to know that I was in labor with my daughter for 32 hours and Hunter and I held her.  She was a real person. Every time I would tell her story, it helped me feel connected with Ada and, especially in those early days, it helped reality to sink in.  That's an important part of the healing process.
• Acknowledge important dates:  the baby's due date, the first anniversary of the loss (especially if it was later in the pregnancy and/or if the mom is not pregnant again), and Mother's Day.  All you need to do is say, "I'm thinking about your baby today."  If you don't know when the due date was, it's not inappropriate to ask, "I was thinking about your baby.  When was your due date again?"
• One really nice thing you could do is to give the mom a copy of Empty Cradle, Broken Heart.  This is such a wonderful book and I highly recommend it.

Don't:

•  Say any of the following:  "It was for the best."  "God has a plan."  "Everything happens for a reason."  "God wanted another angel in heaven."  "God has another flower in his garden."  "It just wasn't meant to be."  "Your baby is in a better place now."  Even if you believe it, these comments are not helpful or comforting in any way.  To a grieving mother, the only place where her child should be is in her arms.  Alive.
• Ignore the situation completely.  I have a couple of friends who have never, ever acknowledged Ada's death.  That hurt much more than an insensitive comment from a well-meaning friend.
• Be afraid to bring up the baby in conversation.  I think people are afraid to mention it because they don't know if the mother has maybe forgotten about the loss and moved on, but I promise you, that does not happen!
• Assume that the mom should be "over it" within what you perceive as a reasonable time frame.  You do not know what it is like to walk in her shoes.
• Assume that everything is happy and right with the world if the mom gets pregnant again.  Yes, she is probably very happy, but she's feeling many new emotions that she didn't have during her last pregnancy (fear, guilt, anxiety, etc.).  Also, this does not mean that she has forgotten about the baby that she lost.  Years from now she will still miss that baby.  Mothers have an amazing ability to love all of their children.

How life changes when you're a mom

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and I realized something:  I can't remember what it's like to be able to put groceries in that little shelf on the cart where Eleanor now always sits!  I know it sounds stupid, and you're probably thinking, "Who cares?", but it's just weird that I honestly can't remember it.  What did I used to put in there?  My purse?  Eggs?  I have no idea.

That got me thinking about all of the things that have changed since July 22, 2009 (and some since March 5, 2008).  Here are just a few I can think of:

• "Sleeping in" on a Saturday means sleeping until 7:30.  GONE are the days of sleeping until 9:00 or 10:00!
• I have learned to sleep through Hunter's alarm clock, but the second Eleanor makes a little sound I am wide awake.
• Hunter and I have gone out together after 6 PM three times in 2010.  Yes, three.  And although I certainly enjoyed myself each time, there was a little part of me that kept wondering if Eleanor was still asleep for the person watching her.
• Whenever I get invited to go somewhere or do something with somebody else, my first thought is whether or not that will work for Eleanor.  I can usually make it work, but her needs come before my own.
• I can't drive anywhere without checking in the rearview mirror to see how Eleanor's doing back there...even when she's not in the car with me!  There have been a few times that I've felt panic for a couple of seconds when I saw that she wasn't there!  :)
• When I go clothes shopping for myself, I wander over to the baby section of the store first.  Last fall somebody gave me a gift card to the Gap and I spent it at Baby Gap instead of buying stuff for myself.  Baby clothes are just so much more fun!  :)
• My life is now lived in blocks of time between naptimes.  I know I can leave the house at 9:30 AM but I have to be home by 12:00 at the latest.  And I can go out around 2:00, but I have to be back by 4:00.  This is all if I have Eleanor with me, of course.  Otherwise the blocks of time are longer, but then it still revolves around her nursing schedule.  (Yes I can pump, but it's a lot of work.  I'm perfectly happy to stay close to home and feed her myself.)
• When I hear another baby cry, I never think something along the lines of, "That mom needs to make her baby stop crying!" like I occasionally did before.  Instead, it's more like, "Oh that poor mom!  I hope she doesn't think her baby is bothering anyone."  And, I'll admit, there's a slight sense of relief that it's somebody else's baby and not my own.  Whew.  :)
• I get ridiculously excited by all of the little things - a sweet smile, a silly face, an attempt at saying a word, etc.  I love watching my baby grow up.
• I have learned to not judge other moms.  I'm sure people think I'm crazy for some of the things I do as a parent, but I have made what I believe are the best choices for my family.  I have faith that other mothers have put thought into their choices as well, and it's really none of my business.
• There are some things I do as a mom that I never thought I would.  For example, I didn't think I would be so strict about keeping a nap schedule, but then I realized that life is really just a whole lot easier (and my baby is a whole lot happier) when we do.  I have not, however, given in on the things that are important to me.  Eleanor wears cloth diapers except for when we travel or occasionally when the cloth is in the wash; it's really not a big deal.  She has never had an ounce of formula.  She has never watched tv.  People used to imply that I would change my mind on those things when she was born, but I don't give in that easily.  I do realize, however, that something could come up to change these things (as one of my friends has recently learned) and I am willing to accept it if it does.  Mothers definitely know a thing or two about humility.

First word??

Eleanor may have said her first word yesterday, but we're not sure if it was an accident!  Whenever the cat is around, we say "kitty" over and over.  ("See the kitty?  You want to pet the kitty?  Be gentle with the kitty!  The kitty is going bye bye.")  She usually makes a "kih kih" sound, but it doesn't seem to mean anything.  Well, yesterday afternoon she very clearly said "kitty"!  Hunter and I looked at each other and we know that's what she said, but we're not sure if she knows what she's saying.  She also says "da da da da" all the time so it obviously doesn't mean  Daddy yet, but I have noticed that when she's with the cat the only sound she makes is the kih sound.

So I think Eleanor said her first word today.  I never knew this was something you could analyze so much!  :)

(And yes, I really am posting this at 4:50 AM.  Somebody woke up hungry at 4:00 and I can't get back to sleep...ugh!)

Swinging

Some nice pictures

My sister-in-law watches Eleanor once a week and has a fantastic camera. These are some of the pictures she's taken.

Videos!

Eleanor loves swinging at the park! She actually cried when I stopped her and took her out of the swing.


This video has very poor quality, but it's so cute. Eleanor found a mirror (on the blue page in that book she's looking at) and she enjoys checking herself out in it. I was so far away because I didn't want to distract her!


This isn't Eleanor, but it's a very cute baby giraffe at the zoo!


Eleanor's first Easter - she enjoyed playing with her new egg toy!


Playing with Easter Eggs

Baby Pancake Recipe

I've had a few friends ask me for the recipe, so here it is.  I got a recipe from somebody else and altered it a bit.  You could always try different types of flours and/or juices.

1/2 C whole wheat flour

1/2 C oatmeal

2 Tb ground flax seed meal (totally optional)

1/2 C natural applesauce

1/2 C apple juice

2 t baking powder

1 egg yolk

Add water until batter has desired consistency, or you could use more juice.

I cook them on an oiled cast iron skillet and make them about 2" in diameter.  Then I freeze them in a zip lock bag and thaw one out in the toaster oven for breakfast or a snack.  Just tear it into little pieces and you're done!

New pictures

A baby in a bucket!

Snack time on Daddy's lap

 

Julie put on a puppet show for Eleanor

 

Who knew an exersaucer could entertain 3 kids at once?

 

Cousin snack time!

 Eleanor stands pretty well now!

 

Eleanor and her friend Caroline at the zoo.  They were thoroughly entertained by each other's feet and didn't really care about the animals.

Hanging out in the backyard, eating some pine straw...

 

No wonder we haven't had many birds on our new feeder...

 

Food

Eleanor is now at the point where she can pretty much feed herself and almost always prefers that over being fed baby food.  At first I had a hard time figuring out what things she can feed herself and I couldn't find much helpful information, so I figured maybe I could help somebody else out and list it here.  These are all of the things Eleanor has successfully fed herself at 8 1/2 months.  Beware, this usually makes a pretty big mess!

• Avocado pieces
• Black beans (mash them first)
• Kidney beans (mash them first)
• Banana pieces - make sure your banana is SUPER ripe
• Strawberry pieces
• Blueberries cut in half
• Cantaloupe pieces
• Mango pieces
• Peach pieces
• Baked sweet potato, cut into small cubes
• Boiled potato, cut into small cubes (baked would be preferable, but I was making mashed potatoes so this is what I had...)
• Small pieces of chicken - to cook, just put a little bit of water with raw chicken in a bowl and microwave it
• Small pieces of pot roast
• Small pieces of carrots from the pot roast - they were plenty soft for her
• Small chunks of potato from the pot roast
• Rice (what a MESS!)
• Cheese toast - just put a couple of slices of cheese (Colby, American, or Sharp are recommended) on whole wheat bread and put it in the toaster oven.  She LOVES it.  You can also put another piece of bread on top and make a sandwhich.  Tear it into small pieces.
• Macaroni and cheese - Not the nasty kind from a box, but whole wheat macaroni with a little bit of shredded cheese melted onto it.  She actually seems to prefer the toast though.
• Peas - I pour out some frozen ones from the bag into a bowl, add some water, and microwave for about 30 seconds or until they're plenty soft.  Of course, if you have fresh peas you can just use those if you haven't added salt or anything.
• Broccoli florets - cook the same as peas
• Cauliflower - cook the same as peas
• Corn - cook the same as peas
• Cheerio's
• Graham crackers - I give her one cracker (a fourth of a big cracker) and she feeds it to herself.

...And that's all I can think of right now.  I'm sure there's more.  Oh, and if the food is burning hot from being cooked, just run a little bit of cold water over it.  That works every time.  It's probably not a good idea for the cheese toast, though.  :)

Oh, and if your house is like mine and your table is over carpet, I recommend one of these splat mats.

Tough week

This past week has been rough.  Where did my sweet baby go?  The one who goes down to sleep without a fuss, eats just about anything, smiles at strangers, and plays happily by herself for up to 20 minutes or so while Mommy gets things done?

Eleanor has just been very fussy all week.  She has played by herself a couple of times, but for the most part she screams if I leave her alone, even if it's just to run to the bathroom.  She has also suddenly become skittish and afraid of loud noises.  She screamed like she had been dropped on her head the other day when I took a sticker nametag off of my shirt.  Yesterday afternoon she took her longest nap since she was a newborn - over 2 hours! - so I thought maybe she was just exhausted.  She was still completely grumpy when she woke up though, and she had a total meltdown during dinner.  She just cried and wouldn't eat anything, so we  skipped a bath and put her to bed early.  It took 45 minutes to get her to sleep, and 30 minutes later she woke up again, crying.  Fortunately after that, she did sleep through the night.  Whew.  I guess it could be a whole lot worse.

I have several theories...

• She is teething.  I actually don't think so because her gums feel exactly the same as when she was 4 months old.  I might feel a little bit of a tooth on the top, but I thought that 4-5 months ago.  I've given her Orajel a few times this week (hoping that was the problem!) and it didn't really seem to help.  It's certainly a possibility though.
• She's experiencing separation anxiety.  I think this is part of the issue - or at least, it explains her behavior when I try to leave the room.  She's certainly at that age.  But why didn't she fuss when I left her in a church nursery last Sunday with a person she barely knows?  Or cry when I left her with her Aunt Monica for a couple of hours on Tuesday?  There were small children at both of those places - did they distract her enough that she didn't mind being without me?
• She got held a lot this past weekend when we had family in town and misses that.  This is what I thought for the first day or two, but 5 days?  And good grief, I have held her plenty and given her lots of attention this week!  She does always seem happiest when she's around lots of people though.
• She has another ear infection.  I did call the doctor, but their first questions where about if she had a runny nose or fever.  No, and no.  She did have both of those things when she had an ear infection about a month ago.  If this continues though, I probably will go to the doctor on Monday to check.  She does grab at her ears constantly, but I think she got in that habit when she had the infection.  She was still doing it the day that the doctor gave her the all clear.
• She can't crawl yet and is frustrated.  This doesn't really explain all of the problems, but I certainly think it's true.  She keeps diving headfirst off of my lap or out of my arms, like she thinks she can crawl.  And yesterday she was actually playing happily by herself for a few minutes until I looked over and saw that she had landed in a strange little heap like she had tried to crawl but fallen on her face.  The screaming started a second later.  What do you do to help a baby crawl?  I try to give her plenty of floor time and even support her body while she moves her hands and feet so she can get the hang of it, but it doesn't seem to work...

Thoughts?  Brilliant ideas?  Commiserations?

I called the governor this morning

Although I've written letters in the past, this is the first time I've ever actually called a politician.  This morning I called our governor to ask him to veto SB6 / HB 7189, which passed at 2:30 AM last night.  I have also emailed twice and I have a letter waiting to go out in the mail.  Why?

- This bill would end compensation for teachers based on advanced degrees and years of experience.   What incentive is there now for teachers to improve themselves?  What incentive is there for experienced teachers to stay in the field?

- This bill would end teacher tenure.  In some ways I can see how this is beneficial - after all, I do know a few teachers who have been teaching forever and really need to go but they are protected by tenure.  But what's to protect a teacher from being let go because lots of parents complained about the teacher after their child didn't get the grade that s/he "deserved"?   I even know teachers whose students have acknowledged this, saying, "So I can get a teacher fired if I just do badly on the test?"

- This bill would make teacher pay dependent on student test scores.  There are so many issues here.  First of all, this means we would have to create tests for students at EVERY grade level and in every subject.  Think about that.  These kids are tested to death as it is!  And where does the money for this come from when our budgets are already in serious trouble?  Furthermore, while it might sound nice in theory for teachers to be paid based on the "learning gains" of their students, this is hardly fair to teachers who teach at schools with low parental involvement or have students with special needs.  How can teachers teach when parents don't read with their children or put them to bed on time?  Where is the component for parental accountability?  And what about those students who are learning but fail to demonstrate this when it comes time for a test?

The proponents of this bill keep saying that they want to protect teachers.  Funny, but every teacher I know is completely against it.

If you feel the same way I do, please call and/or email Governor Crist.  All you need to say is, "Please veto SB 6."  He said he was going to sign the bill, but he is supposedly having second thoughts now due to the overwhelming amount of feedback he has received.

850-488-7146

Charlie.Crist@eog.myflorida.com

Happy Easter!