It's the last night of our vacation here on Sanibel Island, and we decided that we wanted to go out to eat somewhere nice for dinner. Every day since we got here we've gone out to lunch and then had sandwiches back at the condo for dinner, so we were excited about a nice seafood dinner. For those of you who don't have kids, or who don't remember those days, here's a little window into what a fancy dinner is like...with small children.
- We get seated and settled with a diaper bag, a purse, a high chair, and a booster seat.
- We realize the light over our table is burned out and we can barely read our menus.
- Waitress moves us over one table. We move the diaper bag, purse, high chair, booster seat, and babies.
- Baby is squealing incessantly this whole time. He just nursed before leaving the house, but the boy is starving. And it's 5:20. Yup, we go out to dinner at 5:20.
- Dig food out of diaper bag for baby. He quiets down. Try to read menu and realize there are lots of good choices. Two-year-old begs for bread, and then gets to work tearing it into tiny pieces.
- In between feeding baby and making sure toddler doesn't fall out of booster seat, I decide what to order. I go with the bronzed Chilean Sea Bass in a mango sauce...mmm.
- Toddler asks for butter on her bread. Remember that she has torn her bread into at least 20 tiny pieces.
- Sympathetic waitress takes our order and brings us two little tiny cups of goldfish to keep toddler occupied. We're not really fans of goldfish crackers, but they keep her happy and occupied so oh well.
- Baby is still eating and doing a pretty good job at not making a mess except for on his bib.
- Toddler spills goldfish cup #1 on the floor. We hand her cup #2.
- Baby somehow gets his food - some tomato based concoction - all down the white sleeve of his onesie. Oh well.
- We laugh about how we're ordering rather fancy food as we look back and forth from one kid to the other.
- Toddler spills goldfish cup #2 on the floor.
- Baby continues to eat, squealing if I neglect him for a second when he's ready for his next bite. Literally, one second.
- The food comes quickly and I take a second to savor what is probably the most delicious thing I've ever tasted in my life.
- Toddler spills her water cup on the floor. Booster seat + booth = toddler way too far from the table. We finally have the sense to scoot her up closer.
- Baby has now finished an entire packet of food. I occupy him with Baby Mum-Mums, flavorless baby crackers that have very little nutritional value, dissolve in your mouth, and keep baby mercifully occupied feeding himself just long enough to eat a meal. (Side note: at home I try to fix him food that he can feed himself like sweet potato fries, but this just doesn't work well when traveling.)
- We eat our food and take turns handing the baby pieces of his crackers (tip: they last longer when you break them into pieces) and coaxing the two-year-old to eat some of our healthy food now that she is full on bread and goldfish. She prefers the carrots to my sea bass.
- I feed the baby, who is still acting like he's starving, some of my baked sweet potato. He eats everything I give him and finally acts like he might be done.
- Two-year-old is now done with her food and is playing with her little stuffed dog. She starts yelling, "Black dog! Black dog!" This is a character in Treasure Island, but I doubt many of the other restaurant patrons get this reference.
- We laugh again about how crazy this dinner has been and how the toddler will probably vomit or something on our way out. Turns out she doesn't, but she does pee on the beach later that night.
- I take a sip of water and for one second forget about the No Man's Zone around the baby. I set the cup down in front of him and he immediately spills it on the floor.
- We leave a big tip.
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