The almost-8-month update

Eleanor will be 8 months old on Monday and I just can't believe it!  I haven't really updated what she's been up to in a while, so here we go.

Weight:  About 16 pounds, or at least that's how much she weighed at the doctor last week.

Height:  28 inches - That's with me measuring, not the doctor, so who knows.  It sounds right though.

Clothes:  She is starting to outgrow her 9 month clothes - she's just so long!  It's a good thing I have lots of 12 month summer clothes.

Teeth:  None yet

Likes:  When Daddy comes home; playing peek-a-boo; books; all of her toys, especially her little piano and her blocks; being tickled; singing songs (Row Row Row Your Boat is a favorite); anything that can be put in her mouth; food of all kinds (more on that in a minute); being outside; the wind; swinging; baths; nursing; Mommy's phone; and the cat.

Dislikes:  The mixer (although the blender, vacuum, etc. are all fine), being put on her stomach, and having her nose cleaned out with the bulb syringe - we're taking SCREAMING here.

Skills:  Eleanor talks all the time now - she says "ba ba ba ba" and "da da da da" and blows bubbles constantly!  She has also learned to squeal rather loudly.  It's pretty cute...at first.  She is finally thinking about crawling, and can do the motions if you sort of help her, but she's not there yet.  She can definitely stand on her own but of course needs help balancing, and sometimes she'll kind of move her feet along like she's walking if you're holding her hands.  The other day she gave me her first kiss!  I was kissing her neck, which always makes her giggle because she's ticklish, and when I stopped she leaned forward and planted her slobbery mouth on my cheek, then pulled back and smiled!  Hunter says she was trying to nurse my cheek, but I know it was a kiss.  She has done this multiple times now.

Sickness:  Eleanor had her first trip to the doctor last week besides her well checks.  :(  It turns out that she had an ear infection.  She's been on antibiotics for over a week now, and we go back to check on her ears next week.  She's barely been fussy about it it though.  At the same time, I had bronchitis and a sinus infection.  It was not a fun week around here!

Sleep:  Eleanor gets up around 7:00 (THANK YOU TIME CHANGE!  It used to be 6:00.) and takes naps at about 9:30, 12:30, and sometimes 4:30.  Her naps are almost always 45 minutes long, but lately that second one has stretched out to an hour and a half sometimes.  I'm hoping that will become a pattern because I know she's in the process of dropping the third nap.  She is in bed for the night no later than 7:30 and only occasionally wakes up during the night to eat.

Eat:  Eleanor loves to eat!  She won't eat everything by itself, but if it's mixed with something she likes then she's happy.  She has had broccoli, corn, cauliflower, zucchini, yellow squash, butternut squash, potatoes, sweet potatoes, peas, green beans, carrots, spinach, lima beans, kidney beans, strawberries, pears, bananas, apples, blueberries, peaches, mangoes, chicken....and I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting.  Oh, and cereal, of course.  We've moved on from rice cereal to the multi-grain kind with oat and barley.  Eleanor eats 3 meals a day now, anywhere from 3-8 ounces.  She also nurses about 6 times/day.  At dinner time, we've started feeding her finger foods while we eat our dinner, and then we feed her some pureed food after that.  We had burritos last week so we gave her mashed up kidney beans, and they were a HIT!  By the way, kidney beans have practically as much antioxidants as blueberries, a fact I just recently learned.

Mmmm, kidney beans!

(We gave up and took the padding and straps off the chair.  It's MUCH easier to clean now.)

I need more beans!

Look at that messy face!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Elizabeth Ayers

On Sunday morning I woke up to some horrible news:  a 15-year-old girl that I have known for years was killed when she was hit by a car on Saturday evening.  Elizabeth Ayers was a member of First Baptist Church of Pendleton, where Hunter and I were married and attended for years.  Elizabeth was in 1st grade when I met her; I watched her grow up.  I taught her on Wednesday nights for 2 years in a children's program.  She was such a happy, well-rounded, intelligent, and mature girl.  In my 5 years of teaching school I have taught well over 1000 students (seriously) and every once in a while a student came along that made me think, "Wow, I hope my own kids grow up to be like that."  Elizabeth was never one of my students in school, but she was one of those kids.

Elizabeth's family is amazing.  They have always been extremely active in the church and the community.  Her mom, Tasha, was always great about leading children's activities.  She planned two children's retreats that I went on, and they were so wonderful.  They always had just the right amount of games, devotional time, and time to just let kids be kids.  I have admired her and thought I could take some notes on parenting from her.  Why should such an amazing parent have to lose her child?

This is from one of our retreats - Elizabeth is being passed around the circle in one of those trust activities.

I am still in shock.  When I first read the news, I literally cried out, "No!" over and over again - I just couldn't believe it.  Later that day I was folding laundry and talking to Hunter about her when I looked down and realized I was folding an old church tshirt that she designed.  I may not live in South Carolina anymore, but there will always be reminders of her.

I saw Elizabeth just 6 days before she died.  I was visiting last weekend and I dropped Eleanor off in the church nursery and talked to Tasha (Elizabeth's mom) for a few minutes.  She was so excited to meet Eleanor.  I was running late, but as I walked away I looked back and saw Elizabeth talking to her mom and they both smiled at me.  I didn't go back and talk to her.  It's understandable, I know, because the service was starting and nobody likes to walk in late.  Still, I wish so much that I could go back in time and go hug her.  Who cares about being a few minutes late to a service?!  (Well of course, if I could go back in time I would stop it from happening altogether!)  I miss that girl.

Article about the accident
Article about Elizabeth
Article about the prayer service at her school
Elizabeth's obituary

Finally, I want to include what the pastor, Courtney, said at church this past Sunday morning.  (If you're confused, no, I wasn't there, but he posted this online.)  He didn't give a sermon but he did talk some.  Courtney did our premarital counseling, performed our wedding, and even flew down to Florida to do Ada's memorial service in our living room.  He is such a special minister and I'm glad the church has him right now.

This is what I said from our pulpit Sunday. The scripture reference is Mark 5:35-43 - the raising of Jairus' daughter:

Last night, as I stood in the hallway of the E.R. I thought of that story.  It has always been one of my favorite stories of Jesus.  For some reason, Mark chooses to let us hear Jesus speak Aramaic – his native tongue.  It is such a tender story.  Jesus bending down by the bedside of a lifeless little girl and softly speaking to her, “Talitha Cum” which means, “Little girl, get up.”  And she does.

I wanted to go into that room where Tripp and Tasha were grieving so much and say to Elizabeth, “Talitha Cum…little girl, get up.”  I prayed it, I prayed it.  But I knew I couldn’t go in there and say those words because I’m not Jesus.  To go in there and say those words would only compound their grief – to mock them.  Because I’m not Jesus.  You aren’t Jesus.  Call it a lack of faith on our part or an acknowledgment of our mere humanity, but no matter how much we want to – and I know we all want to – we can’t say “Talitha Cum” and it be anything more than ancient words. 

Since then, I’ve heard so many of you say, “What do we do?  How can we help?” I’m struggling with that question.  It just doesn’t get much harder than this.  Because we have no choice but to move beyond helping Elizabeth and her family in the way we wish we could to helping them in the only ways we can.

Let me suggest that as we struggle with that question, “What do I do?” we respond first like Job’s friends responded.  When they found out his children were gone they rushed to him.  They tore their clothes in grief.  They sat with him for seven days without saying a word.  They knew there were no words that could be said.  So they sat with him in his grief.  That is ministry.  It doesn’t take words.  It doesn’t produce miracles.  It simply says, “I don’t know what to say, but I will sit with you and cry with you and ache for you because that’s all I know to do.”  We can be like Job’s friends.

But after seven days, Job’s friends opened their mouths and then they inadvertently stopped being ministers.  They said things about God that aren’t true.  In their good-hearted desire to make sense of all of that tragedy, they spoke nonsense.  In our good-hearted desire to make sense of yesterday, let us know speak nonsense.

* Do not say of situations like this one, God never makes mistakes.  Although it is true that God never makes mistakes, people do.  Accidents happen and there sometimes isn’t a reason other than someone made a mistake.  God doesn’t take the lives of little girls – Jesus proved that at Jarius’ home in that story I read a few moments ago.

* Do not say of situations like this one, “God needed another angel in heaven.”  Although we are not aware of it, God is just as present to us now as when we are in heaven.  God does not need us somewhere else because God already had us now.  God would not cause this kind of pain to a family so that there was another angel in heaven.
 
* Do not say of situations like this one, “We can’t question God.”  Some of the most powerful, Biblical prayers are not prayers that raise the dead, but prayers that raise the question, “Why?”

We CAN question God, we simply must recognize that we aren’t God and that such questions may not have answers on this side of eternity.  We aren’t Jesus. 

But when we ask, “How can I help, what can I do?” part of the answer IS that we can be like Jesus.  We can go, we can care, we can love.  It isn’t enough.  But it is all we have.  I remember hearing the story of Jess Trotter, the late Dean of the Virginia Seminary, whose son died a tragic death.  Months later he told his students, I thank you for your understanding. I thank you for your presence. Your prayers have made a difference. Where I’ve been and where I am, I can tell you but a little. I’ve been to the bottom and found it firm.  If, months or years from now, Tripp and Tasha and James are able to say this, it will be because they found us at the bottom – because they were able to stand on our shoulders – because we WERE like Jesus: because we went, we cared, and we loved. 

Finally, let me suggest that we not only be LIKE Jesus, but that we TRUST Jesus.  Jesus does come.  Jesus does care.  Jesus does love.  He tells us he will not leave us orphaned.  He is with us always – even when it feels like it is already the end of the age. 

Several weeks ago Elizabeth came forward at the end of a service and picked up a cross from this table.  She did so to say to us that she sensed God working in her life in a new and mighty way.  What a memory that is, what a gift that is – a response of faith.  It may seem crass that we respond to this by taking up an offering, but we respond in that way because it is a response of faith.  They laughed at Jesus because he came offering resurrection.  They can laugh at us for taking up an offering – for believing in a God of resurrection on a morning like this.  But this is a God who loves each of us and who tenderly whispers in our ears, “Little girls, little boys, get up.”  I don’t know what else to do.  I don’t know what better we can do than to respond in faith.  

Videos

I'm glad that Hunter was the one giving her a bath the night she discovered how to splash! He was soaked!

She was almost more interested in the camera than playing peek a boo!

(Sorry for the bad lighting.)

Why is it that Eleanor puts EVERYTHING in her mouth...except when she's supposed to?

A special gift

I have a friend from college, Shelley, who had a beautiful little girl named Elliana.  Elliana was born just a couple of weeks after Ada and she lived for just under a month.  She had Trisomy 13.

This past weekend Shelley and I saw each other at our friend Emily's baby shower. It was the first time we have seen each other since I was pregnant with Ada and she was pregnant with Elliana.   Sadly I didn't even think to get a picture of us together, but here is a picture of Shelley, her oldest daughter, Carson, Emily, and Shelley's new little rainbow baby, Isaac.

Eleanor and I were also at the shower - Eleanor was pretty tired by this point!

At the shower, Shelley handed me a gift for Eleanor that was wrapped up so beautifully. I felt bad because I hadn't even thought to bring something for her baby. I didn't open the gift until later, but when I did, I cried. In the card she explained to Eleanor that this doll was given to Elliana when she was born and that Elliana had never gotten to play with it. She thought that Eleanor was the perfect girl to get to play with this doll. This is a very special gift, and Eleanor has enjoyed playing with her already. As she grows older, I will be sure to tell her about what a special girl Elliana was.

Making baby food

This is what I've learned so far about making your own baby food, although I'm still learning.  I make most of Eleanor's, except I buy the stuff at the store whenever we're traveling.  I decided to make hers because it's cheaper, it produces less waste, and, most importantly, I know exactly what she's eating.

Here's what I do:

Step 1:  Buy the food

I almost didn't include this step, but I realized I should because it's important.  I usually buy fresh fruits and vegetables, but I also buy frozen food a lot. These foods are supposedly frozen at their peak, so they are still very nutritious.  Just be careful to check the labels and make sure they don't have other extra ingredients.  I especially like buying frozen peaches because they're already peeled and sliced.  :)  Besides, peaches are totally out of season right now.

Step 2:  Cook the food

Bake:  sweet potatoes and butternut squash
Boil:  chicken (the only meat I've attempted so far)

Steam:  zucchini (leave the skin on), broccoli florets, yellow squash, carrots*, peeled peach slices, blueberries, peeled pear slices, strawberries, peeled apple slices (although now I just buy unsweetened applesauce because it's so much easier), peas, green beans - this is just what I've tried so far.  I steam the food rather than boiling it because boiling causes food to lose more nutrients.

*AAP recommends not making your own carrots because of the nitrates in them, but I do it.  I don't use the water from the carrots for the next step though.

Step 3:  Puree the food

I went out and bought a food mill at Bed Bath & Beyond because I thought it would really help with this step.  It's perfect for sweet potatoes and butternut squash, but that's it.  I use the blender for everything else.  I usually have to add water, so I use the water leftover in the pan after steaming.  (With carrots, I just use water from our filter.) 

Step 4:  Freeze the food

You can just freeze the food in regular ice trays.  I have fancy trays that a friend loaned me though, and they have lids.  I believe this is squash in the trays:

Once your cubes of food have frozen, you can dump them out into ziplock bags.  (Anybody have a more eco-friendly idea for this?  I don't have space for lots of containers.)  I label each bag with the name of the food and the date I made it.  I think you're supposed to throw food out after 1 month, but it doesn't usually last that long for us.  Here is my freezer door, full of baby food:

Step 5:  Feed the baby!

Put a few cubes in a bowl (well, it used to be just one but I have a hungry baby these days!) and heat them in the microwave.  This works well for us, because there are few vegetables that Eleanor will eat alone but she'll eat just about anything if it's mixed with sweet potatoes.  Sometimes I mix in cereal if the food seems too watery. I'm also offering her foods that she can handle on her own sometimes (like chunks of bananas or lima beans cut in half), but I feel like I can offer her more variety this way.

Cheerios

Eleanor had some Cheerios the other day. She ate some of them, but was really more fascinated by the plastic rings in her hand.

A friend told me it looks like she's waiting for the Cheerios to do tricks!

The aftermath

And now for more cuteness...

Eleanor likes bananas. She sucks on them like you would eat a popsicle.

My baby is growing up! She can stand pretty well, but of course doesn't balance yet.

I take lots of pictures of her sleeping. She's just so cute! We find her like this a lot, with her little blanket over her head